Everyone has their own ideas about what constitutes any given number on a rating scale. Your score of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past might be different from our score. Your reasons for not liking Goodfellas could be different from ours, since we both know you’d be entirely incorrect. Your version of a “7” might not be in line with our version. What we’re saying, essentially, is fuck your version. Kidding.
But not really.
Below is a what we run our review scores with. In the end, a review is still an opinion. Our opinions just happen to be correct.
11. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
10. A film or game that you want to tell everyone about, especially those whose wheelhouse it would fit most perfectly in. There are no “must plays” “must sees” or “perfect” films and games, but these are top tier in our minds, and we’d recommend them with the highest regard.
9. An extremely amazing film or game. Easily recommendable, fun and engaging the entire time. It may not always break new ground, but the experience, art, style or music makes up for that.
8. An entry that predominantly works where it’s supposed to, but has a problem or two that detract from the entertainment.
7. A solid entry, firing on most cylinders, with few issues that can’t entirely be overlooked, but don’t destroy the overall enjoyment.
6. An above average outing. Just a little more than a run-of-the-mill experience. Comes with a a few “ifs” and “buts” along the way.
5. Mediocre. Functions as a film or game and little else. Doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary and certainly doesn’t do anything to break expectations. Any recommendations here have substantial stipulations.
4. Something, or a few things, just aren’t working well. It might still have some pockets of fun, but there is more bad than good here.
3. Multiple things are broken or don’t work. It’s mostly tiring, joyless and extremely frustrating.
2. Near-trash. A lot of horrendous issues throughout. It does the bare minimum to function as a film or game.
1. Garbage tier. Nothing works, everything is bad, don’t do this thing ever. Ever.