Nooz Melee: Gamers Say “Hell No” to VR Alien: Isolation


In an interview with MCV, Sega’s European boss Jurgen Post teased that he would be interested in adapting Alien: Isolation for VR, prompting many gamers to say, “Hell no.”

One gamer, Allen Realperson of North Dakota, reacted viscerally when told. “Are you kidding me? A VR version of that game would destroy me. One time the alien dragged me backwards from under a table and ate my face. I could practically feel its cold, long fingers wrapped around my ankles, and I screamed like a girl.

“I looked over at my 12-year-old son and just saw the respect die in his eyes,” Benson added bitterly.

There’s an alien somewhere in this room. See it?

When told that Sega was considering making a version of the sci-fi horror game where the player was fully immersed in Creative Assembly’s claustrophobic, shadowy space station, gamer Sunny Francosco of Maine, shuddered. “Dude. Dude, one time? I was hiding in a locker and this was before I knew there was a way to hold your breathe. So it heard me breathing. I saw it coming for me through the vent…”

VR of this? Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Herman Snortz of Massachussetts was given a chance to comment, but gave no verbal reply. Instead he simply stood up, unplugged his Xbox One, carried it outside and dropped it in the trash. “Can’t take any chances.”

An inside source told Geek Melee’s jornahlizm department that ideas for a VR Alien: Isolation were unlikely to be realized, as Sega’s main priority at this time is the endless death march of poor-to-mediocre Sonic games.

Disclaimer: All “nooz” at is parody. Or, you know, “lies.” Whatever.

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