Mighty Number 9 Has New False Launch Date, Inafune Continues Lying Streak
After lying about the proposed release date of his crowdfunded video game Mighty Number 9 three times in a row, director Keiji Inafune has lied for a fourth time to backers at a press conference, claiming the release date is now set for June 21st of this year. “This time I mean it!” lied Inafune as he crossed his fingers behind his back like a fucking twelve year old. “For real, totally gonna happen on June 21st of this year.” He gave a weird wink and began pretending to shoot the audience with a fake gun, leading to confusion and uncomfortable shuffling for several minutes.
Although he acknowledged the incredible mishandling of funds from over 67,000 backers, as well as his debacle trying to crowdfund another rip-off of his own series before the first one was even complete, his tone was filled with sarcasm and almost no empathy whatsoever. “Blah blah blah, you all know the story! Anyway, August 15th of this year guys!” he said while counting cash and continuing to make “pew-pew” noises to the onlookers.
He concluded the press conference by announcing another Kickstarter project that would go live that evening, asking for more donations. “This one is about a green guy who dashes a lot and shoots laser bullets from his robo-arm! Please support my newest pipe dream! And remember, December 22nd is the release day for Mighty Number Whatverthefuck!” he yelled as he danced offstage and produced a plethora of farting noises in rapid succession. As of press time, Inafune was seen brainstorming ideas for a new game based around a yellow colored robot warrior named Bega Ban.