During a panel at PAX Prime in Seattle over the weekend, director Hajime Tabata revealed that his upcoming video game Final Fantasy XV will be released sometime in 2016, but not before he has another announcement in March of 2016 giving more details about a future announcement or release date or something else entirely.  “I enjoy the idea of just being completely fucking unclear about what’s going on in the video game development cycle.  It makes potential buyers of the product confused and frustrated.  I like that,”  said Tabata with a slight twinkle in his eye.

Square Enix, the company behind the production of Final Fantasy XV, revealed it plans to hold several more press conferences throughout the end of 2015, all of which will be talking about future conferences or announcements and release dates being pushed further and further away from anything actually tangible.  Tabata laughed directly into the microphone as he addressed the large PAX Prime crowd, “Oh man, this is great.  You know the battle system and AI behavior in the game?  It’s like, between 30 and 80 percent finished.  Maybe!  This is also true for the cameras and user interface because, well, fuck everyone here!”  The crowd applauded and bellowed loudly like trained seals awaiting their next disappointing meal.

“Messing with the fans is fun and easy. Seeing their faces radically change from happy to extreme anger and uncertainty brings me joy.” -Hajime Tabata

As the panel came to a close, Tabata, while giving the audience the middle finger, grabbed the microphone away from the host and yelled, “The car you drive in the game? It runs out of gas! Fuck you! Fuck you all!”  The crowd once again erupted with thunderous applause and ape-like screams.  Fred “FF” Ferrell, an avid Final Fantasy fan, could be overheard saying, “God, despite how insanely mad I am right now, I am still so excited for this game.”  At press time, a Square Enix spokesman said we can expect more details and announcements about future detailed announcements about announcements very soon.  Later, the spokesman released the company’s lineup for the Tokyo Game Show on September 17th-20th, dropped the mic, and disappeared into a cloud of smoke.  Tabata’s laughter could be heard echoing throughout the halls.  It’s inflection, whether sarcastic or genuine, was impossible to place.